Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
