Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
