I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it glows. i had to have it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
