Betty ford says i'm here all night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
