Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
