I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
