is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
