I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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