i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Drunk is a universal language darling
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
