I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
