So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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