let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
