Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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