i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
