I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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