You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
