The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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