She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
