brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
