everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
