I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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