My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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