someone threw a dead crab at me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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