i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
