ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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