would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
