You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
