found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
