I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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