At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
