i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
