You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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