umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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