well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dicks are not precious.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
