PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
