I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
