hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
