Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
