It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
