She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
