Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
