Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
