i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
