i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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