if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
