I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
