you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
