my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
