Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
