he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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